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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

An odd thing in the mail....

OK, so I am a sucker for crap on TV and please forgive me, but I bought a book by that creepy Scientology guy, Kevin Trudeau. What a waste of money. But that is not what I am ranting about. So, let's start over....

Last week I got a very interesting letter from a place called the Secret Athenian Society. (For the next little bit I am quoting Ron Shell, cause he already wrote what I want to say!) "They claim to know things about me. Well they have my address so they must be onto something, right? In an envelope marked Domestic First Class Foreign Air Mail postmarked from Grove City, OH. they tell me that the letter is special because it was mailed First Class and not bulk Third Class. It was a personal letter just to [me]. Which I found interesting, as the signature on the letter was printed by a machine and they sent out enough of these personal letters to get a discounted rate ($0.292) on First Class Mail Postage.

Reading the letter a little bit I learn that if I reply today I will get, for free, the ONLY secret that can make anyone rich, powerful, successful and in control. PLUS the secret ingredient that could make women fall in love with [me] and give [me] power and control over virtually ANYONE, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE!

Thats right, anything and everything you could ever want. They tell me that this obviously sounds too good to be true and I should keep reading. After I finish the letter I am laughing because its the funniest piece of mail I have ever gotten. I mean come on, I have gifted people finding me, and how they found me must remain a mystery, for now. They are trying to give me information that has apparently worked for 2,300 years! The tone of the letter seems to be remember, this information is free, but if you don't want to reply, we know where you live and we are special people that know things about you!

So who is behind all of this? Well a name that appears in the letter is Dr. Frank R. Wallace. This is where the fake story usually starts about someone whom you can never find any information about starts his story and how this all works for him. However, this apparently is a real person. He worked for Du Pont, advanced major discoveries with cars at General Motors, worked for IBM, helped with fighter planes, space crafts and missiles our government use and also helped with disease cures! What an amazing man! He also used the secret that they are going to give you, for free, to write a world's bestselling book called, Poker, A Guaranteed Income For Life. OK, wait! HOLD UP! We have a doctor that the world should be thankful for writing books on winning Poker to make a life's income? We have a guy who should be making millions already from his, obviously, successful career is helping the world by writing books on playing Poker? What bull."

So I research and find that there are several versions of this company, including a place called Neo Tech, Neo Warriors, Novus Tek, and I am sure there must be others. Other research reveals a lot about the Doctor here. "His real name is apparently Wallace Ward and hides behind several writing names such as Dr. Higgs Field and John Flint (JF). If you have gotten this letter in the mail, think about it before replying. The organization is cult-like and this is obvious by going to their website.

I have learned the following about the "promotion", which seems to take a predictable form.

1) An individual first receives a letter which appears to be an invitation to join them and discover truths and knowledge.The individual is asked to return an answer to this invitation within a certain amount of days and receive free information.

2) If a reply is given then the individual will receive a pamphlet.This pamphlet contains little extra information than that which was in the original letter but it also contains an order for a book which cost over $130.

3) If the book is bought further letters are received offering more books.We don't know how many more books." (Quoted from distressedfaery)

Well this reminded me of another organization......aforementioned!

So I found someone who has actually bought the next "step" and wow....

"Concerning the 1400+ pages of "inside secrets", about 1200 of them were repetitious. There are a lot of adjectives like "neo-con", "parasitical", etc. The message very much resembles Ayn Rand's objectivist philosophy with some odd twists that, no doubt, have Rand twirling dervishly in her mausoleum. Some of the basic advice: "quit smoking, lose weight, quit watching tv, do your job better than the other employees at work, give up your ridiculous belief in a creator or personal savior", and other perspicacious insights that can be had for free on public broadcasting channels or pamphlets from your local health department. Basically, don't be a doormat/victim and people will love and respect you for it rewarding you with positions of authority leading to more money which will cause your significant other to love you. Hence, the "power, riches, love" promised in the pamphlet."

The Redneck said the following and I agree:

"I kept my part of their instructions; I told no one of the invitation or the pamphlet. However, now I will, since I have a few problems with this idea of a special invitation, to-wit:

1) Why me? I tend to hide in the shadows. I am on precious few mailing lists (although obviously at least one), belong to no clubs or organizations, etc. I even live so far away from 'society' that I only recently got Internet access at my home. It would have been nice to get a hint of how they found me.

2) The pamphlet was indeed free, but it contained only 5 stories written by successful members, and each one was focused on literally begging me to buy the 'final installment'... the 1000-page, 2300-year-old translated manuscript that solves all your problems in life. Indeed, one story was a word-for-word copy of part of the invitation. I saw no secrets, only a few hints that I have not personally been able to put together into anything substantial.

3) Apparently, this was a ploy to sell a book. Research has found that Neo Tech Publishing is a small family-owned enterprise that specializes in selling the works of Frank Wallace, aka a half-dozen pseudonyms.

4) Yes, the invitation came First-Class Postage. But it was at a reduced rate, which means this WAS a bulk mailing resulting in a discount rate.

5) Every story mentioned a game of chance in Las Vegas. I have been to Las Vegas... nice place. Expensive place. Great place to lose your shirt. Those casinos have pros managing them. That's way out of my league.

6) Most of the stories mentioned finding the 1000-page miracle book either by accident or as a gift... so why am I supposed to buy it? And why for such a large sum of cash? (about $140)

7) The pamphlet I have been mentioning was referred to as an Orientation Booklet... strangest orientation I ever went through.

All in all, I believe this is a fantastic opportunity for Neo Tech Publishing to sell books. I just wish I had thought of the marketing idea. Somebody is definitely gonna get wealthy here. Guess who?"

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